Before I tell you why people lose love out of their relationships, I would ask you, “Can you define love?” If not, then how come you are so sure that it was love that vanished and nothing else. Love is a very strange thing. No one can really give love a proper definition, because no two loves are the same. There is no greater force on earth that would be such a mystery for many. They say that love never dies a natural death, and I’m here to discuss what kills it.
From my own experience I have realized that when it comes to love, I admit that I am but a fool. What I have learned from love, I have drawn from experience. I can never really rely on books, because too many of them have turned out to be mere delusions of a beautiful mind.
The following reasons will explain you better what reasons are responsible for losing love in a relationship:
1) Unrealistic expectations. When you get into love, you start expecting something unrealistic from him. While there is no harm in putting your partner on a pedestal, there is a fine line between idealism and being blind to the entire thing. Remember that all those romantic films and novels have a one-dimensional feel to the characters and situations, and your partner is only human, prone to weaknesses, biases, and faults.
True love is never based upon such expectations. Such is the beauty of real love, choosing to love someone despite all their frailties. Unrealistic expectations can kill relationships, because expectations can lead to disappointments when these expectations aren’t fulfilled. Unfulfilled expectations can then lead to feelings of inadequacy and betrayal, which ultimately cause a relationship to fail.
2) Lack of solid foundation. If your love life isn’t strong enough, built on the weak foundation of self-doubt and dishonesty, it will eventually crumble. Even great sexual chemistry isn’t solid enough a foundation to withstand the hurdles that your relationship may face. Friendship, as strong as it may be, can’t be the only foundation to work on, either.
You need trust, respect, and honesty. You need perseverance to get through love’s trials. Building a relationship on something as fleeting and flimsy as sex, infatuation, or a mutual flirtation will only guarantee failure.
3) It wasn’t love from the beginning. If you are so sure that it was love and nothing else then how come you can no more realize it when love is said to be eternal. I have heard many stories of couples falling out of love because they didn’t feel like it was love anymore. Most people fall into a state of infatuation during the start of their relationship, and they tend to look at everything through rose-colored glasses.
Once the intimate stage is over, they realize that things aren’t the way that they used to be. The thing about relationships, the real ones, is that it gets better when the two people involved grow and move forward together. In the case of infatuation, the connection is only as fleeting as the initial thrill of attraction.
4) Betrayal kill it. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship followed by loyalty. It is an expensive gift, and one should never expect it from cheap people. How far does the saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” go? Truth be told, I have known what it was like to be with a cheater. I can tell you now that the experience is horrifying, and when one has been cheated on, one gets a feeling that one can never wholly trust again.
When one has been betrayed by the other, it can be hard to trust that person again. It is because of this that love dies a slow and painful death. It becomes like living in a personal hell, where your doubts and paranoia consume you and cause your relationship to crumble.
5) Because of fear. It’s okay to be afraid of losing your partner, but the problem arises when you’re so scared of losing them that you end up doing irrational things to keep them around. Sometimes, holding on to your partner too tightly can cause them to feel suffocated.
You may think that you’re just doing what it takes to make your partner happy, but you’d be surprised at how well people can smell fear and desperation. And when this invades your relationship, you’ll find that love gets pushed to the sidelines.
6) Lack of growth. Change is a natural phenomena and every couple should learn to cope with it. The years tend to change people, no matter how subtle the changes may be. Couples in a healthy relationship allow the years to help them to grow into better versions of themselves. They find ways to enrich their relationship, allowing it to mature with time.
However, there are some couples who try so hard to hold on to their honeymoon period that the relationship never progresses. There are also some couples who bring each other down as a way to keep each other on the same level. These actions only serve to stunt the growth of the relationship.
7) Past hurts and lies. There are some old wounds that never really heal. It could stem from the hurt of betrayal or disappointment or resentment. Some old wounds can lead to grudges and pent-up anger. When these old issues remain unresolved, they fester and feed on whatever good things are left in the relationship, making the couple realize that their pain, anger, or resentment is stronger than the love they bear each other.
8) Lack of trust or honesty in the relationship. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship followed by loyalty. The very foundation of a good, solid relationship is trust. When you find yourself constantly wondering where your partner is, or constantly doubting your partner, you know that there is something wrong with your relationship.
Trust is what holds the relationship together. Trust is what gives one peace of mind in a relationship. Very often, many have found that they have invested too much trust in a relationship, all for it to go to waste.
9) Incompatibility issues. While it is true that opposites can attract, it is compatibility that would be the deciding factor in a relationship in the long run. The honeymoon period of love would allow you to glaze over whatever faults and idiosyncrasies your partner might have. But time will eventually allow you to see if your relationship will last.
This would allow you to open your eyes to the truth, and sometimes, you’ll find that no matter how great things were from the start, your ultimate incompatibility will drive you apart.
10) It matured over time. Let’s get one thing straight: romantic love has to die in order for a more mature love to grow and prosper. Romance can sometimes look and feel like real love, when in fact, it’s a facade that hides the true issues in a relationship.
Love isn’t all about romantic gestures and flowers and candlelit dinners. Couples must learn to shed the trappings of romance in order to see that love is also about hard work, overcoming trials together, and growing as a couple. When a couple is blinded by romance, they see love, but it’s an incomplete picture.
Guys, I am constantly putting efforts in making your relationships better. But it won’t be possible without your support. So please do comment, like, react and share my articles and help reach them as far as possible!!